Enjoy this article written by our new Pastoral Care Assistant, Zoe Hickerson.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

“You have a sharp tongue.”

My father’s rebuke when I was a pre-teen told me that I was naturally better at flippantly wounding others with my words than speaking constructively. His observation stung, but it sharpened my character for the better. That memory is a permanent challenge to speak with care, and I am grateful that he and others have taken the risk of loving me by saying hard things. Proverbs 27:6 affirms the benefit: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

While we need to hear corrective words from those who love us, we also benefit from their perspective on our strengths and gifts. In this era of social media, too many of us are in a constant, shallow, positive feedback loop as an army of digital “friends” affirms our statuses, photos, and public thoughts; essentially they often echo back what we already know or think. I am grateful for the real-life friend several years ago who described me as a pastor, giving a name to a collection of traits he saw at the core of me. I remember initially feeling some shock at the assessment because he saw something meaningful I could not have articulated about myself. He also took a risk in expressing an idea I might reject, but his word has led me into leadership roles I might not otherwise have considered.

The Lord uses the honest words of those around us to shape our behavior, our ministries, and our lives. Friends, family, teachers, and mentors can plainly point out facets of us that are deeply flawed or admirable. Sometimes we seek this feedback, but usually it is spontaneous. Maybe we should more regularly seek out these character checks instead of just waiting for them to happen. Scripture is full of commands to both encourage and exhort one another, and, particularly in the book of Proverbs, we see how necessary and profitable this is in the life of a believer.

Here’s a challenge for our church for the month of January 2016: pick three people you trust and have each one name what he or she thinks are: 1) the best thing about you and 2) an area of weakness that if attended might bring growth. Begin to imagine how the Lord would transform you. Maybe there is a blind spot He wants to reveal or a broken relationship He wants to heal. Maybe there is a gifting for leadership or evangelism or hospitality that is developing in you. While it is uncomfortable to make ourselves vulnerable, particularly to corrective feedback, this may be an essential exercise that moves us from a place of spiritual stagnation to new growth. It may open our eyes to a new ministry need. It will not leave us the same, but for the better.

As we seek to go beyond modern surface communication, our Savior is a steady guide. I think of Peter, in whom Jesus affirmed leadership when He said of him “on this rock, I will build my church” (Matt. 16:18), but he did not hesitate to correct Peter in the searing words “Get behind me, Satan!” (Matt. 16:23) when Peter spoke against what Jesus knew was God’s plan for Him. With both these charges ringing in his ears, Peter went from fisherman to devoted apostle.

May we be transformed likewise.